What no one ever told you about marriage (or how to prevent a war in the first year)

Hey EMC’ers!

I know – two in a row! I’m on a roll. I’m also on a caffeine high, so here we go. As I woke up two hours early this morning to take hubs to the airport, I got to thinking about our lives as a married couple. I know that there are a bunch of articles out there about what to expect after marriage, and what it will all be like. Well, those articles didn’t really make sense until now. With my (almost) 7 weeks of experience, I figured I would start a list of my very own Eureka! moments.


Point 1: Traveling apart. This is our first time apart as hubs and wife, and only our second time being on the opposite side of the states from each other. Oh, I’ll admit, when I went to Vegas it was hella awesome! But driving away from the airport this morning was almost heart wrenching. I know he’ll be okay, but there’s always that little part of me that’ll worry until he’s actually home. Note moving forward:  always travel together.


Point 2: Appearance, what is that?. Maybe it’s all the hub bub with the house, or because we’re both overloaded with work and school, but appearances have not meant diddly squat lately. We still have our occasional fancy nights out but most of the time it’s sweat pants and a tank top. Note moving forward: buy more makeup.


Point 3: Sometimes it’s okay not to work well with each other. We figured this out as we both stressfully tried to change the front door knob. Not only was the new handle too short, but the smarty pants I have for a husband managed to lose two important screws. Note moving forward: take a deep breath and walk away for a minute.


Point 4: You won’t always agree. We’ve been trying to figure out how the house will look since we first put an offer down. We finally came to the agreement that I would have master say (I married a smart man) on the main rooms, but hubs would have full control over the garage, bar, anything electronic and back yard. Now, that doesn’t mean we still agree. Note moving forward: Compromise will be your best friend.


Point 5: You will argue more. Hubs and I never argued this much when we were dating. We are both extremely laid back people, and tend to avoid arguments most of the time. The other times, well, I’m Italian and we like to argue! Now that we’re married, we seem to nit pick at everything. I’m not talking full on, throw things arguments. More like quick little spasms of rage and annoyance over stupid things like trying to figure out what’s for dinner or who’s going to do the dishes. Your life will be come a constant cycle of “please stop talking” until you both get in the rhythm of marriage. We’re not there yet, but the quick blips are becoming less frequent. Note moving forward: don’t sweat the small stuff.


Point 6: You’ll start comparing yourselves to other couples. Most of the time, this will be in the form of “Oh man, I hope we don’t get as bad as them”. Sometimes, you’ll see something sweet and want to send a swift elbow to the opposite party’s rib cage, but in all reality, you wouldn’t change anything. Yes, more flowers and chocolates would be nice. But flowers die, chocolates get eaten, and you’re still left with each other. Note moving forward: be the best you can be for each other.


I think we’re on a good roll. Now I get to figure out what the heck I’m going to do at the house without hubs…. I’m seeing polka dots in my future! See you next time!


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